Pastel raindrops on a sunny day

vrijdag 20 maart 2015

Lolita Blog Carnival - A lolita lifestyle? Does it really exist?

Every lolita has the dream of being a lifestyle lolita at one point in their lolita life. Atleast that's what I think that happens in their life. But is there such a thing as a lolita lifestyle? Are the dreams and ideas we had as a starting lolita real? Let's take a closer look at a lolita lifestyle, or at my opinion about it.

There are many sites on the internet that give you a look at the perfect lolita lifestyle. I did some research and came to the conclusion that everyone has a different vision about what a lolita lifestyle is.
Some sites are made up out of a list to follow along, others with advice on how to incorporate lolita items into your daily life. But none of them talk about the things in life that you can't control.

When you are a teenager or someone that goes to school, it's most of the time easier to incorporate lolita items into your daily life. Which makes it a bit easier to define yourself as a lifestyle lolita. Since you basically can wear lolita everyday. But what about the girls that call themselves a lifestyle lolita but aren't able to wear lolita items everyday. Maybe they are studying to become a vet, a lawyer or even someone who builds houses everyday. We can't leave the boys out right. Are these people not a lifestyle lolita?

To me a lolita lifestyle isn't about the guided rules of the perfect lolita lifestyle. Drinking tea, make your own kawaii accessories, collect everything cute and basically decoden everything what you find in your life. I don't say that these things can't be a part of your lifestyle. But they don't define a lolita lifestyle.

Most of the lolita girls worldwide know about the movie Kamikaze Girls. It's about the story of a sweet lolita girl that loves to embroidery and start working for Baby the stars shine bright. At least that's the lolita side of the story.
I think a lot of the beginner lolita's dream of this perfect life filled with frills, wearing lolita as sleep wear, a room full of lolita clothes and items like Misako Aoki has. Though when they grow older and get more life experience they see that this lolita dream they had wasn't really realistic. And that it changed over the years.

Misako Aoki's lolita room, a dream that a lot of girls have. 
It's also my dream to have a lolita dressing room one day.

Sure you can do all the frilly things you want, wear all the frills you want and basically live the life the guidelines tells you to do. But do you really enjoy it? Every single day of your life? Even when you're sick? Or go to your sport activities while wearing all those frills. Your life exist out of a lot of different interests and things. So far I haven't met a single person that doesn't like just one thing. Though this doesn't make you a horrible lolita, this makes you only human.

As you can see I have a strong opinion about a lolita lifestyle, in my eyes there isn't a single rule that you can apply to make you a lifestyle lolita. You don't need to wear lolita 24/7, you don't need to be kawaii all the time, you don't need to love tea or fill your house with antique furniture. You don't need to do a single thing from these lists to be a lifestyle lolita. Allright maybe one thing and that are lolita clothes. It's hard to be a lolita without wearing the clothes right?

But there will be some people out there that will disagree with me on this point, but for myself I'm a lifestyle lolita. Why? I try to wear lolita as much as I can and as much as I like, I attend the events with a big smile of joy on my face, I travel many hours to be with fellow lolita friends even if it's just for a casual day in my sweatpants watching a sad movie together. I call myself a lifestyle lolita cause I feel like one. Currently I'm working in a nursing home where I'm not allowed to wear heavy make up, jewelry or frilly clothes. I need to wear a nursing uniform and follow the healthcare guidelines. My workday starts at 7:30 in the morning or at 7:00 depending on the shift. I'm also going to work on my bike. But you will never see me wearing lolita or cute clothes to work, not even one kawaii thing in my hair. Why dressing up in the morning to ride my bike and change at work into an uniform? I'm just to lazy for that. And it's not like the elderly at work will say that you look way better with a cute bow in your hair.

For me a lolita lifestyle is about how you feel connected to the fashion and about the sparkles in your eyes when you see the fashion or wear it. It's about the butterflies in your tummy when you meet new and old lolita friends, and that feeling when your dreamdress arrives. If you don't like to do picknicks in the park, don't want to wear your coords when it rains or if you don't like to do anything that is listed on the guideline websites for having a lolita lifestyle it's totally fine! You are unique and you love the fashion. That's all what matters in the end. Don't label yourself, no one sees the tag anyway.

Want to read more about a lolita lifestyle? Check out the other blogs of this week.
❤︎ A heart's sound ❤︎
❤︎ Art du noir ❤︎
❤︎ Under the parasol ❤︎
❤︎ A lace jail ❤︎

Credit first photo: Deerstalker Pictures

5 reacties:

  1. True, I personally think that lifestyle lolita's who wear lolita often outside of meets.

  2. I think that if someone was to do a scientific study of lolita's and their lifestyle a pattern would probably emerge. So officially that would then be the lifestyle but of course like with everything in life things are not that black and white and there are many options possible. But I think that people with a lolita lifestyle, however they decide to shape this, would probably have a few things in common.

    And I also agree with you that people should be less fussy about the ''rules''. Having people with their own interpretation of lolita makes the scene much more diverse and dynamic. And everyone should do what makes them feel good as long as they don't hurt others.

  3. I was rereading your blogposts and I didn't know if I already replied somewhere else on this but I really share your opinion. Lifestyle is, to me, defined by the impact things have on your life and what you do with it. Altough before I wouldn't have considered myself a lifestyle lolita, because I don't wear it daily nor weakly, I do think that it has a huge impact on my life. I sew lolita clothes myself, I watch lolita things (photos, blogposts, videos) daily on the internet, I travel a lot for meets, regularly, because I feel that is totally worth it. So in conclusion, even when I drink a lot of tea and love being period-stuff or something, that is not what actually makes a lolita lifestyle :). It's great to take/create your own interpretation of it and nobody should feel bad about either having a certain lifestyle or not because things are just how they are and it's not neccessary to put a label on anything of course, people should be happy just being their true selves!

  4. I totally agree with you here.

    I feel kind of sad for others because I really wonder, "Do they really feel happy acting like this 24/7?" It seems so surreal to live that way non-stop, and I wonder if it's like being a celebrity and hiding your true activities/hobbies/etc, in order to look good to the public or to hide some shame/failure in their life... I mean if they truly enjoy it, fine, but I won't be surprised if at least some were trying to fool themselves to believing it's their true self and giving up all their previous hobbies to become a Lolita.

    I love the fashion and dolls, but I can't bring myself to call myself "lifestyle" Lolita, because I simply do not like doing these things that are considered the Lolita Lifestyle. I like the taste of tea, but not as a hobby, and feel it's a waste of time to spend hours doing nothing but drinking it and eating tiny expensive sweets. I find it incredibly boring and only like it for the fashion and designs, which even I rarely wear because it's expensive and like you, I am also going to be working in nursing homes/hospitals. >.<

    I feel like I may only be a "virtual Lolita", if that is even a thing. I love dressing virtual characters in Lolita because it's essentially free and doesn't mean sacrificing physical comfort... But maybe this is what makes me not Lolita by some peoples' standards, because I'm not willing to go that far for it, and also have other fashion tastes along with it.


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